One of my sisters found this treasure in amongst other papers at our mother's home in Illinois. I don't think I need any permission to reproduce this here. Try reading this outloud to friends or relatives. I guarantee you will break out in a belly laugh. Our family laughed until we cried together on Easter. Then I seriously began to think what it might be like to actually think like this???
Dear son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper where the most accidents happened within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain, and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.
About your Sister...she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him, and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up. One was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down. Not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love, Mom
Are you feeling any better yet?
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